Die-Section/Transcript
(a worm is burrowing through a hole in the ground. A bird comes up to it and eats it. A cat comes out from the bushes and eats the bird. A dog comes from the other side and eats the cat. Laney comes out.) Laney: Oh you little monster! Get out of my yard! (the dog runs into the street and is run over by Boris) Hanneke: What was that? (Boris looks at the rearview mirror and sees Luther eating the dog.) Boris: Survival of the fittest. (intro plays) (at school. The kids are standing by trays containing frogs. Grover comes in) Grover: Listen up privates! Laying right before you is the enemy! You are to go in from the mid-region and retrieve the items of importance one at a time! I've seen to it that your enemy has no means of escaping, show no fear, be fierce and be above all! (the kids merely look at their frogs.) Colleen: This is so wrong. Grover: Dixon! I will not take any back talk! Colleen: Can't you just make me drop and giver you twenty? (the other students speak in agreement) Grover: What's the big deal? Frogs live differently than the rest of us, they're plenty more out there. Someone needs to visit the widows anyhow. Jerry: What if we- Grover: That'd be an automatic F! Jenny: That's not fair! Grover: If I let you all get away with skipping this assignment, you'll just do the same for every other assignment! (Alison attempts to make an incision. She begins trembling.) Alison: I fail! (Alison runs out of the room.) Grover: Anyone else want to join her? (the students run out of the room.) Grover: Those kids will never last more than five minutes in the emergency room. (at recess.) Alison: Do you think I'm a loser for not dissecting that frog? Sam: We're all losers Alison... we chickened out too. Jenny: Those poor creatures remind me of, well, me. Angela: I never got the gist behind frog dissection. What's that supposed to teach us? Randall: To be doctors, I guess, but who would have the stomach to do work that has a nine out of ten tragedy rate? Emily: So what they think that as kids we enjoy things like that? There's a limit to everything, especially when a life's on the line. Georgina: I would never bring myself to cutting up those poor creatures, even my own. Colleen: Your own? Georgina: Well, a few months ago my father bought me a toad, I called it Maybe. Maybe was my world, but I guess he didn't feel the same. Alison: Hm? Georgina: I left it outside one night and it ran off. I haven't seen him since. But I won't be influenced to cut anyone of that species. Colleen: Well, I think we could all agree that this dissection business is stupid. Alison: But what could we do? Julie: I suppose we could just not do it. (Cosmo approaches them) Cosmo: Hey folks, Mr. Glover gave me a message for you all. He says that he's hosting a make-up dissection tomorrow, yada yada yada, attendance is mandatory, yada yada yada, oh, and if you don't do the assignment you'll all be held back. (Cosmo leaves.) Colleen: Plan B? Francis: My dad has this house in Winnemucca he uses to hide from the IRS. Ruth: You idiot, that's an incorporated community. Ashley: Why not Wyoming? Nobody would ever think to check there. Alison: Would you all get serious!? Ashley: How're we not serious Meeks? Alison: While I'd love to move to the middle of nowhere only to bang my head on a rock out of boredom, but that won't do anything. If we don't dissect the frogs, someone else would. Those frogs'll forever live on death row if we don't do something about it. Colleen: I know what you're driving at. Wyoming's starting to sound pretty good right about now. Alison: It's a matter of finding the frogs and letting them go. Without the frogs, we have no reason to do the assignment, they can't pin it on us, we'd be there to do the assignment so they can't technically fail us. Julie: So by day or- Alison: Of course not. Our school has only one security guard, and he's hopelessly incompetent. Not to mention we have no security cameras at our school. Colleen: We still have to get to the top floor, and chances are we'll be leaving behind evidence. Alison: So wear gloves and put plastic bags on your feet, my aunt does that so she won't get traced by credit card companies. Julie: Seems like we have no other options. Alison: Meet me by the entrance at eight-thirty tonight. Ashley: Then we could pack our bags and move to Wy- Alison: Enough with Wyoming! (non-sequitur song plays) Alison: Even if it's something vital, oh woah. Make your choice and make it final. Chorus: Tell em' no no no no, no no no no, no no no no, no no no no no, no no no. Alison: Don't dissect frogs, cuz their lives, are valuable. And if you're told to cut them, by your mom. You'd rather be a logger, or a bum. Chorus: Tell em no no no no, no no no no Alison: Not all of us want to be doctors. Chorus: No no no no, no no no no, no no. Alison: Don't dissect frogs cuz in time, they'll dissect you. I know we like all things disgusting. But we wouldn't harm frogs for diamond rings. If this counts for most of your grade, pass or fail, no one said you had to come for, summer jail. Chorus: Tell em no no no no, no no no no Alison: Algebra is more useful. Chorus: No no no no, no no no no, no no. Alison: Don't dissect frogs, what have they ever done to you? (at night, Edgar is in Alison's house.) Edgar: Amber have you seen my- (Edgar rams his foot into a stone frog.) Edgar: AGH! Son of a- Amber: Hey, watch those frogs! Edgar: Amber, I think you might have a problem. Amber: Why? Because it's at your expense? Edgar: First it was some tacky bobble heads, then lawn and garden decorations, and you've been watching The WB nonstop. Amber: Frogs are cool creatures. Get a life. Edgar: I'd live the one I'm living now if you just gave me the keys to my car. (Amber throws them to him.) Edgar: By the way, did you get Alison already? Amber: She's been here since this morning. Edgar: Well, mind if I tell her good night? Amber: She's sound asleep, I mean I guess, the door's locked. Edgar: It's on your grounds. Amber: Scram. (it goes to Alison in front of the school.) Alison: Guys where are you? (Alison looks around.) Alison: Okay fine, I'll take all the guilt, happy? (the doors open behind Alison. Alison screams and sees the other kids behind her.) Alison: Wait, how? Colleen: We're always one step ahead. (it goes to the watchman tormenting a frog.) Crockett: Come on come on green guy, I've got a nice juicy fly for ya. (Crockett pulls it away and laughs) (the kids head to and enter the science lab.) Alison: If I were a horde of frogs, where would I be kept...? (the kids look around.) Francis: Nothing, Mr. Glover must have them off-site. (Jerry sees a locked cabinet.) Jerry: What about this? Colleen: Question is, does my set of keys have the one we need? Julie: I've got a better idea. (Julie goes over and pulls a bobby pin out from her hair. She picks the lock.) Alison: How did that not come to mind? (they open the cabinet and find a team of animators and a whip barer) Man: Shut the door! (the kids shut the cabinet) Julie: I have a gut feeling that there's no way out of this. Jerry: But I don't wanna go to Wyoming! Colleen: Quiet, do you hear that? (the kids hear croaking. They're led to a barrel.)